Pffft!

So the Daily Mail has come out with the results of some sorry little survey they took about which nationality’s men are the Best/Worst in the sack.

And the US was listed as the fifth worst.

Because we’re too rough.

OK, all European women, listen up: Just like when Aldrin, Armstrong and Collins planted that flag on the moon, that raised handprint welt on your ass that can be seen through your tights is there to tell others were we’ve been. The itch in that same spot that comes later that afternoon is there to remind you to call us back that evening.

It’s the spirit of the explorer bred into all decent and thoughtful American men that makes us like that. Don’t question it. All you have to do is enjoy it.