Bear Arms

In Seattle, near the University of Washington’s Greek Row, the Seattle law enforcement community shot themselves a bear Sunday morning.

An adult black bear, to be exact.

Follow this link to see approximately where the bear was felled.

How did the bear get there? No one knows.

My guess is that he walked, since most bears lack the dexterity to drive a car and the moneychanging skills to pay for the bus ride.

But if you want to know a secret, I get strange phone calls at work. One of them came in on Friday night from a friend who asked if his 40cal Glock would stop a fully grown black bear. I told him that 40 is not Bear Medicine and that unless he got a good shot in the neck, right behind the jaw, it would most likely take the majority of his magazine to stop a charging bear. I then asked why.

You see, this bear was spotted at approximately this location around 2230 Friday night and the woman who had called him and his fellow professionals to the scene was in hysterics and they were halfway-wondering if they should be carrying their long guns when they got out of their cars.

I then told him that I could be there in 20 minutes with my 8lb sledge, which got a dry chuckle out of him because he knew that, A. it wouldn’t be the first time I’d had to swing iron at a bear, and B. I was completely serious.

It was Friday night and I was feeling a little frisky.

They, not being used to running down bear and with a 30 minute ETA for the nearest K-9, lost him within 5 blocks of the hysterical woman’s house.

I guess SPD will shoot anything black (ooooh, now that was out of line!).

On a side note, the Seattle officials are saying that a combination of tranq darts and tazer application is the cause for the bears death, but if you believe that, then you’ll probably also believe that illegal immigrants are no danger to the citizenry.